Are you feeling gripped by painful emotion right now? Do you have a problem with no immediate solution in sight?
If not, a tip of the cap to you! But if so, and if it’s wearing you down, no wonder; a challenged state of being, whether emotional or physical, is inherently less relaxed. Think about how your body feels when faced with a challenge: it will be holding tension, tautness, and tightening, whether subtle or obvious. The New Plan A will help you ease all of that.
Which gets back to the breath.
Try this: stop whatever you’re doing right now and focus on your breath for a moment. Breathe in slowly and try to feel what that’s like. Inhale as long as you can, hold it briefly, and then breathe out, exhaling as fully and deeply as if you were squeezing all the air out of a balloon. Don’t hurry and don’t worry. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. Whatever you’re doing is perfectly fine. Now, do it again, only this time, try to allow a more accepting, non-resisting attitude toward your problem to come into your mind and body. It’s a way to say “okay” to the problem, a way to stop resisting, with both your body and your mind, the simple fact of it right now. Imagine a blanket spread out on the beach for a picnic on a beautiful day. Now imagine clouds blowing in. Rain begins. The blanket, which only moments ago was bathed in sunlight, and which is still spread out upon the ground, is now being showered with raindrops. The idea here is to be a little bit more like the blanket, just “accepting” the rain as it did the sunshine.
Despite the many differences between blankets and human beings, it really is possible to cultivate a less resisting stance when faced with the emotionally devastating fall-out after life-changing loss.
And as you become more “allowing” of the fact of your current unhappiness, you’ll actually become less stressed; and the less stressed you are, the more relaxed you can become. It’s true. It’s all about acceptance, deep and complete. That’s the foundation of The New Plan A. And remember that saying “okay” in this way does not mean you’re saying you like the problem, nor does it mean you won’t work to change it. Acceptance and change are actually two sides of the same coin. You’ll still jump for joy when you solve (or otherwise adjust to) your problem, but adding acceptance, deep and complete into your mix does mean you’ll suffer less in the meantime. Sound good? See what you think.