Got Inner Peace?

Many of the people I talk to have been through hard things. A lot of them are still in the midst of grappling with the fall-out from losses and changes that rocked their boat hard. Many of them are gripped with regret. And many of them are stuck on the woulda-shoulda-coulda train to nowhere.

When people tell me they can’t imagine ever feeling at peace again, even when they’re able to put on a good face for the outside world, I get it. Because there was a time when I felt that way too. I know what it feels like to believe deep down that it’s impossible. And that is a hard place to be.

But there actually is a way to reclaim inner peace. And it’s surprisingly simple. Even when you’re struggling to reckon with yourself and your life in the aftermath of hard times, you can regain a sense of basic well-being and serenity.  I call it The Four Ps of Inner Peace: Practice, Perseverance, Patience, and Perspective.

Practice, Practice, Practice…

Practice is all about repetition. You do new things, over and over again, on purpose. That’s how you make new habits of mind (what you think), body (what you do), and spirit (what you feel). Habits are hard to break but easy to make. Practice is how that happens. And it’s pretty simple, in essence.

Perseverance

Keep on keepin’ on. Get going when the going gets tough. Don’t, don’t, don’t give up. If you’re like most people, there are going to be times when it all just feels too hard. And that’s okay. Remember that “you might lose a battle but you’ll still win the war.”  Remind yourself that you can start over as many times as you need to. Every moment is new, and you’re new in every moment. Turn the page, turn over a new leaf, press your re-set button. Steady will always win the race.

Patience

Rome wasn’t built in a day, right? There’s no abracadabra-poof to the process. It’s not magic. It’s all and only a function of your moment-to-moment practices.

It’s natural to feel impatient.

But once you’re on board with the idea that the journey is the destination, your day to day sense of serenity, inner peace, and even joy will greatly increase.

Perspective

Most of us are pretty attached to the way we see things. In fact, most people tend to think that the way they see things is the way things ARE. But the truth is that there is more than one way to look at things.

The late, great Wayne Dyer said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. And the good news is that there are some simple ways to do it. And if you learn and practice them, you’ll get some pretty quick results.

To learn more about Perspective click here.

Click below to watch the short video I made about “The Four Ps of Inner Peace.” And then I’d love to hear your own thoughts. Feel free to post them below.

That Was Pretty Stupid!

Have you ever done something you thought was really stupid?

That’s what happened to me recently. And I caught myself thinking some wickedly judgmental, not very nice thoughts about myself. It was interesting how quickly the inner criticism started and how painfully familiar the litany was.

No one can abuse us the way we can abuse ourselves.

What happened was that I found myself somewhere I didn’t expect to be. In this case, it was a physical place. But it could just as easily have been an emotional place. Either way, finding yourself in a situation or circumstance you regret can give rise to some pretty negative self-talk that makes you feel even worse. In my case, I immediately began berating myself for making a bad decision. And believe me, it wasn’t pretty.

A little self-awareness can go a long way in all the ways you want most.

Because I’ve been doing awareness practices for a long time, I caught myself pretty quickly. I noticed what I was doing to myself. And my self-awareness made it possible for me to interrupt it, stop it, and change it.

The cool thing was what happened next.

As soon as I got out of my head and back into the moment at hand, some really nice things happened. I got some help from passing strangers, I thought more clearly about my options, and I felt better about my decisions moving forward. And then the day ended a lot better than it started.

It is definitely possible to go a little easier on yourself even when you’re not feeling very good about things.

And the truth is that things tend to get better when you do, even when your situation overall is difficult.

Click below to watch the short video I made to tell you about what happened.

Feel free to post your thoughts and questions below.

I’ll Never Be the Same

Have you ever felt this way? It’s a feeling that can follow a really good experience. More commonly, though, it’s when you’ve lost a piece of your heart that it gets your full attention. And in either case, there’s a very real sense in which it’s true. But it’s not the whole truth. And especially where loss is concerned, it doesn’t have to mean a life sentence of unhappiness.

 Change is the bedrock of human experience.

The truth is that everything is changing all the time. We change, the people around us change, and the environment changes. Continually. It’s just that we don’t notice until we experience a loss that causes us grief, however large or small.

 There’s a trick to rolling with the punches.

Whatever happened to cause you to feel bad, you can learn how to adjust to it, to move on with your life, and to regain a sense of serenity, peace, and even joy. The first step – and it’s a doozie – is to accept the truth that life, as you knew it, is forever changed. It’s easier said than done but it is definitely possible.

 Everyone has a moment of truth.

Whether we ever say it out loud to another person or just know it deep in our own heart, there comes a time when we recognize that the past is simply that: the past. And then it’s all about what we do with that knowledge.

I’ve had my own “hitting bottom” moment which I would like to share with you in the video below. As I explain, I knew there was only one thing possible for me to do: move forward.

Click below to watch. And then I’d love to hear your own thoughts. Feel free to post them below.

When You Lose a Beloved Animal

Saying goodbye can feel excruciating. 

If you’ve ever had to say goodbye to a beloved animal, you know the uniquely wrenching sorrow that can follow this kind of loss. And even if you have no personal experience with it, I’ll bet you know and love someone who does. For most people, it can be hard to know what to say or do.

Every kind of loss has unique aspects as well as universal ones. 

And there’s actually great comfort and hope in that fact. No matter what the particular kind of loss, the thing to keep in mind is that anyone who is grieving deeply is vulnerable to feeling misunderstood, isolated, and alone… the total opposite of what anyone wants and needs in times of loss and suffering, right?Jo Werther

Whatever the loss, the path of healing is essentially the same. 

Whether you’re reaching out to another person or being there for yourself, what’s called for is acknowledgement, compassion, and support. And especially when you’re the one in the grip of deep grief, it can surprisingly challenging to be with yourself in ways that help rather than hinder your healing.

In this podcast, I will:

  • Offer powerful words of comfort and hope to anyone who is grieving the loss of a beloved animal.
  • Give you guidelines for moment-to-moment self-care when you’re in the grip of your sorrow.
  • Show you how to apply Acceptance, Deep and Complete to the experience of grief and loss.

Listen to this episode.

Acceptance, Deep and Complete

Jo Werther

The heart and soul of The New Plan A is Acceptance, Deep and Complete.

Acceptance: we use the word in ordinary language all the time. But in The New Plan A, its meaning is narrowly defined and precisely applied. To accept means only to acknowledge the basic, bare-bones facts about a person, a place, a thing, or a situation, as it is, right now… without interpretation, commentary, judgement, or even preference. That’s the hard part. But with The New Plan A, you can learn how to do it.

Why learn to practice Acceptance, Deep and Complete?

If you’re feeling devastated, wrecked, destroyed, or emotionally immobilized, The New Plan A is your ticket out of that hell and onto the path that leads to your new and good life. And Acceptance, Deep and Complete is the shortest distance between where you are right now and everywhere you’d rather be.

In this podcast episode, I introduce The New Plan A and teach you a simple acceptance practice called “Be A Balloon.” This simple practice has the power to ease your suffering in the worst moments as well as to enhance your best ones.  Prepare to be a little amazed! Enjoy.

Ready to get started? Click below.

Listen to this episode: